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Knocked Over By A Feather

But It Didn't Keep Me Down…

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music

Time To Lay the Man to Rest

I don’t have many words right now. I am exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained.

He moved his stuff out last night, but don’t worry, I had two of the strongest people I know with me, forming a sort of human shield against his asshat waves. (Perfect description, thanks Ali.)

I only lost it once while he was moving his belongings out to the garage, but I didn’t fucking cry.

It was undiluted, pure anger.

On my last post, Bojana and Wulf both left me a song. “Time for me to Fly” by REO Speedwagon and “My Love” by someone I’ve never heard of before, Kovacs.

Thank you both so much.

I’m sharing “My Love” today because the lyrics are perfect, Kovacs voice is perfect…well, you get the picture. Bojana, you’re wonderful for sharing her music with me.

It’s like a balm for my torn heart and weary soul right now.



My Love by Kovacs  2014

Babe don’t try to call
My heart is ticking and the show, just won’t wait

It’s strange, you couldn’t see it my way, hey now go
I pray for you to fall
The spark, has died and now you’re just too late

A shame, you’re knocking at the wrong gate, hey go home
Come what may, I won’t give away

My love, diamond rings and Chevrolets
My love, aces high and cigarettes
My love, faking all like Hollywood
My love, love, love

No way you’ll see me crawl
Like a shark I’ll be ripping you apart, and celebrate
With lots of champagne, you caught me on the wrong day, now you know

Come what may, I won’t give away

My love, see me dancing in the rain
My love, no more whiskey and cocaine
My love, ending all forbidden fruit
My love, love, love

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
No you can’t amuse me, so leave you must
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
If the spell won’t kill you, your ego does

My love, diamond rings and Chevrolets
My love, no more tears and no regrets
My love, time to lay the man to rest
My love, love, love


Music is detrimental to one’s healing process.

I’d like to ask you guys if you could share a “fuck off you cowardly piece of festering hamster shit” song for me to listen to.

Then I can compile a playlist when I’m feeling blue and shit.

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She Used To Be Mine


By Sara Bareilles 2015

For myself and Alice…and anyone else who can relate. ❤️

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ’til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

 

You’ll Think of Me

I was working as a dietary aide/cook at a nursing home when this song came out. The morning cook always had the radio set on the local country station. Since the cook was always in charge of the music, I didn’t have much of a choice.

When I was the cook, I listened to the classic rock station.

Anyway, I heard this fucking song at least 6 times a day. I’ll admit that I liked it, since it was extremely catchy and Keith Urban’s voice sounded truly heartbroken.

I always thought it was “take your cat but leave my sweater.” Turns out he was saying “cap.”

I must have tucked this song away inside one of my brains crawl spaces for future reference.



You’ll Think of Me by Keith Urban  2004

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else’s arms
I’ve been tryin’ my best to get along
But that’s OK
There’s nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don’t need’em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you’ll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
‘Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I’ll feel a whole lot better
But you’ll think of me, you’ll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I’m feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don’t need’em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you’ll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
‘Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I’ll feel a whole lot better
But you’ll think of me

Someday I’m gonna run across your mind
But don’t worry, I’ll be fine
I’m gonna be alright
While you’re sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I’ll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don’t need’em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
‘Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I’ll feel a whole lot better
But you’ll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don’t need’em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you’ll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
‘Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I’ll feel a whole lot better
But you’ll think of me, you’ll think of me, yeah

And you’re gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

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